When You Don't Get To Say Goodbye...

Hello lovelies. Last year on the 14th of November my beloved great-grandpa passed away. I really can't describe how I felt that evening but it was a feeling I will never forget. When I heard the news my heart dropped and my body froze. I didn't know what to say, or do. I just didn't understand. 

I spoke to my great-grandma two days before and everything seemed to be fine - but it wasn't. Of course I knew it was going to happen sooner or later (he was in a bad condition for almost three years) but I always imagined to be by his side holding his hand. That's the least I could have done. 

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He definitely was one of the most important people in my life. He was like a second dad. All my life he and my great-grandma lived across the street doing everything in their power to be a big part of my life and make me happy. I was their first great-grandchild so they obviously spoiled me like no other. But besides picking me up from kindergarten, cooking for me, playing boardgames, watching my endless 'Barbie Girl' performances (don't ask lol) in the garden and giving me as much sweeties as I wanted it was the relationship we had that made everything a little more special. I knew that if I ever needed help or someone to talk to they would be right there, not meaning that my parents weren't (both of them are amazing to talk to) but you know that special love between children and their grandparents..?

Whenever I got told off by my parents I would just go to them and they told me that everything was okay. Whenever I missed the school bus in the morning I would go to their house and my grandpa would sit in the kitchen reading the newspaper literally waiting for me to knock on the door. And no matter how often I told him about the crazy things I wanted to be when I grow up (popstar, police officer, detective, actress...) he would just look at me and smile. In his eyes I could have done no wrong.

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I know that most people don't even get to meet their great-grandparents so I am beyond grateful that I not only just got to meet them but also that I was able to built up a strong relationship and have both of them by my side for 20 years. 

I still can't fully wrap my head around the fact that he is gone. Every time I visit his grave I stand there thinking about all the things I wasn't able to say, but desperately wanted him to know.

I am not a really religious person - to be honest - but I do believe that souls can be reborn. So to whomever was born on the 14th of November, 2013 around six p.m, congratulations you've been blessed with a beautiful soul! 


Never forget to cherish each moment you spend with the people you love, you never know when it might be the last...

I miss you grandpa!
xx, Marie 

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