The Fear of Failure

Hello beauties! Growing up in today's society can either be a blessing or a curse. There is so much to do, yet so little time. When you are a child with dreams it's is very cute and uplifting, and the people around you tell you everything is possible but as soon as you get to a certain age all of that isn't accurate anymore. Suddenly you're supposed to be realistic and have it all figured out. But how can you - when there are so many amazing opportunities available? How are you supposed to decide? Especially at such a young age? 

Then, when you successfully fought against all the opinionated people - who think they have a say - and allow yourself to dream, you have to be brave enough to give it a try. But with trying also comes the fear of failure... You're afraid of doing something wrong, disappointing the people who actually believe in you or even worse, disappointing yourself. You are filled with self-doubt and questioning if  this is the right path for you. 

Well this is exactly how I am feeling since I got back from my Christmas break. I'm three weeks away from finishing my first semester which means I also have finals coming up. Five (three hour) exams in one-and-a-half weeks and the pressure is really getting to me. I am constantly doubting myself which I never did before. I always thought I can do this, it's going to work out, but not this time. I'm just so scared of letting myself and my family down. I know this might sound a bit strange to some of you because you should pursue you dreams for no other than yourself but when you tell everyone you can do this you kind of feel like you need to prove it them.

Being really ambitious, like me, has many pros and cons. One the one hand you aren't afraid of trying no matter how scary it might be but on the other hand you take everything way too seriously. Whilst worrying about the 'big picture' you completely forget to take life in little steps - one at a time - which makes you worry even more. When you are under a lot of pressure it's not like you are upset for a moment and forget then about it, no it sets of a whole chain reaction of worries. You ask yourself, how will it affect my future? Will this have an impact? How big will the impact be? And for someone who is finishing her first semester this is not okay. I mean failing an exam is not the end of the world but for some reason to me it is a big deal... I really hope that once I get used to all of this, these worries will go away and I will go back to my normal self.

I really hope you liked this post even though it is fairly different to what I usually talk about. Maybe some of you are going through the same and this made you feel like you are not alone - and if you have any tips on how to deal with the fear of failure, please let me know! We could start a little chat in the comments below! xo, Marie 

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